End Time
Julie, our inspector, summoned us to the crawlspace.  I crouched and shuffled forward under the porch to the 3x3 door in the side of the house.  Almost immediately she pointed to one of the walls and said something about a "extreme" and "structural engineer".

It was a crack in the wall almost an inch wide.

Backing up a bit: the house is at the base of a small hill, but is also just above a precipitous descent of about 8 feet to the adjacent lot.  As I looked at that crack (and the sister crack on the opposite side of the house), I realized that the whole house was slowly cracking in half, with one half drooping toward the neighbor's yard.  This explained the sloping floors inside.  It was clearly obvious that the house was shifting.  Down.

A moment later she pulled back a tarp and said, "Oh... oh Jesus.  Wait, I'm not supposed to say that.  I'm not supposed to scare the client."

In the end, the litany of sins against this house which elicited (nay, required) an invocation of the mercy of Christ included: extreme cracks in the foundation, as well as significant undermining, a tear off roof, heating available in only 1 room, aluminum wiring, amateur plumbing, a deck that was on it's way to falling off the side of the building (as well as signs of many many rats).

It didn't matter.  I knew of only two things that could utterly destroy a house, that could end any thought of occupying said location: termites and a damaged foundation.  As soon as I saw that crack, I knew that we would be withdrawing the offer.